Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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