put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
