I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
