Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
