DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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