just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
