just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
