woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
