Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
