Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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