Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
