dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
His hands were made for my vagina.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize