bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
