She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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