even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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