We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
