its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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