nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
