A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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