if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Can I color on your dick again?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Randomize
