We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
