A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Come on in and take your pants off
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