i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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