Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Everything about him screamed your future.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
