I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Randomize
