I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
