so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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