6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
