If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
