Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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