You can't motorboat a personality
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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