I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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