i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
