i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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