Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
