omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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