Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
