just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
