Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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