I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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