I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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