from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
