Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
