with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You were trust falling into bushes
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
