It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
