Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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