i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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