thus making me awesome and them whores
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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