ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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