I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I came so hard my ears popped.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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